Friday 1 June 2007

Friday.

When we got home yesterday evening found there were two cards on the doormat telling me I had parcels awaiting collection at the postal sorting office. I always find the thought of parcels exciting (childhood memories of Christmas, birthdays, etc., I suppose), so immediately after breakfast (first things first, chaps), I went into town to collect parcels. Parked car just round corner from sorting office. Yes, I know I should have walked into town, I usually do, but reasoned that I did not know how big these two parcels would be to carry home. My reasoning was proved correct as it happened because there were not two parcels awaiting me, but three, all of a fair size. I found that by piling parcels in left hand and holding them down with my chin, stick in right hand, I could make fair progress until nearly back to car park when I spotted a twenty pence piece on pavement in front of me. "Ah! Michael's lucky day" I hear you murmur. Well, no actually as the next few minutes were quite eventful. I hooked my stick over my left wrist to free up my right hand to gather in unexpected riches, and by bending knees lowered myself pavementward. As I reached the twenty pence piece my stick reached the ground, unhooked itself and fell off. "I'll get it," said total but helpful stranger (much my vintage but altogether bendier) and did so. He handed me the stick. I retained my presence of mind I'm glad to say and pocketed the twenty pence piece thus freeing up my right hand and enabling me to repossess the stick. Where I went wrong at this point was to raise my chin from the top parcel in order to thank helpful stranger for his assistance, as this caused top parcel to fall to the pavement whence it bounced into the road, hotly pursued by self and still helpful stranger, this in turn causing majority of our High Street traffic to brake sharply in efforts to avoid bouncing parcel, helpful stranger and self. Glad to report their efforts (and ours) eventually totally successful. When we regained pavement helpful stranger, myself, and first two motorists (coming from different directions) were helpless with laughter, and(this is the moral of the story ):- I was still twenty pence ahead of the game. Goodnight.

3 comments:

Nea said...

Only if the contents of your runaway parcel is still whole!
But quite right, find a penny, pick it up and all the day....
I found a pin yesterday, but that sort of worked in reverse, because just before that I had found three good sturdy chairs for the kitchen (five pounds the lot) and a coronation mug for 8p and it was exactly 54 years to the day.
By the way the foreign parts really were Hell, it's on the way to Trondheim in Norway which was our true destination.

Crowbard said...

I do so admire your youthful flexibility and athleticism Mike, not to mention your terpsichoreal abilities. These days I hardly dare bend down for less than 50p.
Time was when I'd've turned cartwheels for half a groat and summersaults for the change....
You just can't get the bear's grease for the screwmatics these days. But parcels are lovely to get. (If you can keep a hold on 'em.)
Chin, Chin, Old Thing.
Carl.

Crowbard said...

And another thing....
There's that young Pooh all away in foreign parts and fancy dress too probably. And she breaks all the rules by going and getting lucky BEFORE she picks a pin up. Then she goes and comes back from real HELL would you believe, and only one has ever done that before even though that too was a harrowing experience so I'm told. Dear oh Dear I just don't know what the world's a comin' to...(er sorry I know I shouldn't close a whinging rant on a preposition but'To what is the world a-coming' somehow loses the force of the thing, what?)
Silly old Ceorl